01: A Breastfeeding Journey
Recently I have been hearing the stories of mothers who need time for themselves and are finding feeding difficult or are experiencing different rhythms which they and their babies are learning when it comes to feeding. This has made me reflect to my breastfeeding journey and think a little deeper about the decisions I made along the way.
I exclusively breastfed, in hindsight I realise I became very sleep deprived and struggled with what I now think was very low mood. I wanted to breastfeed, and I was lucky that it came quite easily to me and my baby. I didn’t have any medical challenges such as mastitis, though I do think I had a thrush at one point. It was extremely painful in the first few weeks, and I sat crying in agony, my baby fed regularly, and I barely sleep for months. I now believe I dropped into a place of very low mood but high functioning, so I presented as getting on with things but emotionally was struggling.
My belief is that every woman must find their own way through this journey with trusted advice from professionals and support from loved ones. Whatever works for a woman and their baby is right for them. However, what I have noticed is there is a lot of emotion linked to different types of feeding and plenty of unjustified opinion from society. What comes with other people’s stories when they are shared with other women is the possibility for judgement and comparison. When I think deeper about judgement and comparison, I believe the true hurdle faced is acceptance around one’s own decisions. Acceptance is a regular feature in my coaching conversations and is key to progress and a feeling of contentment for many women.
Hearing other people’s decisions, experiences and desires for combining their own lives with caring for a new baby has made me think back to my decision making and how these will have impacted on how I felt in the first year of motherhood. I am drawn to thinking critically about the way in which I am accepting of my decisions. I’ve now over time become far more accepting that those decisions were part of my experience and that experience led me to where I am now with my desire to support others who have challenges along the way.
I can also remind myself that no other person is ever fully aware of what life is like for that woman and her new baby. I can also except that part of me pre and post child is to be a do-er, who rarely stops, cares deeply about things but also wants to crack on with things every day - I can’t, and I don’t think I need to change that but that part of my personality will also have shaped my decision making. So, acceptance and how I can accept is important for progress. Reach out to me if you want to explore acceptance and your decisions.
